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Expedition to the Valley of the Frog God
Summary:
The adventurers Unkill Goregargler, Preston Lewis, Pearly, Deezer, Magnus Brule and Unkill's retainer Wayne Scotting tracked the outlaws Kinat & Rentor to the Valley of the Frog God and killed them.
Date: 2008-06-06
In-game date: June 3-7, 1008.
A letter from Preston Lewis to his sister:
"Dearest Sister,
In this damp, dark corner of the world, forsaken by every decent god, there are only criminals. One would imagine there would be "work" for me in a place like this. Instead, I have become a lawman, of sorts. When the innkeeper posted the bounty on a pair of outlaws, a father and son suspected of murdering this lands' old lord, I led a band of mongrels out into the jungle, after them.
Magnus the Wizard is the most tolerable of my five comrades, though our first difficulty was to rescue him from giant, man-eating frogs when he got trapped in quicksand. These jungles are enough to make men mad, or worse. But I am getting ahead of myself. We were told these bandits might be hiding near some ancient ruins, so we made our way to that location. We found a primitive pyramid, topped by a hideous, frog-like idol.
Atop the pyramid, I killed a giant rat, pure white in colour. Skewered him on the end of my sword. But read on, my sister, for what I witnessed is most extraordinary! After expiring, the rat transformed into a naked old man, with long white hair. It was the father outlaw. Surely, we thought, the son could not be far away.
We made camp in the ruins of the antediluvian pyamid. You may disbelieve me, but what happened next is true. Before the sun's rays broke the horizon, dead men sprang from the earth and attacked us! Our porter, Wainscotting, was sleeping on watch, and it fell to myself and my companion Deezer to sense this danger and awaken the others. The mongrel eyork Deezer is a wastrel and a sisterfucker, but on this occasion, he showed some competency. At least he is not a drunk, like the other half-ork, Unkill Goregargler, who fled screaming into the jungle with Wainscotting as soon as he untangled himself from his hammock. I suppose Unkill is what passes for a "musician" amongst barbarians, but all he does is smash his cymbals together and yell. My fifth companion was a muleman named Crot, whom everyone calls Pearly. He walks upright and talks like a man, though for all that he is not much smarter than a mule. To his credit, his powerful hooves and handy shovel made him a great help in dispatching these undead fiends.
After daybreak, we found the rest of the bandits, hiding in their lair, and ambushed them. Unkill and Wainscotting had found their courage and returned to us, for I suppose they are less fearful of living men, but sadly this was a mixed blessing. It is hard to take a man by surprise when one of your comrades is enthusiastically bashing his cymbals together. In any event, we backed the outlaw son into a corner, and I slew him as well. I would have liked to question him about the old lord's suspicious death, but he would not surrender, preferring death to the chains of justice. So it is for some men.
We returned their heads to the lord's keep and recovered the bounty. But soon, I wil return to the jungle. Their ruined house was built atop some sort of subterranean construction, and perhaps they hid something down there. Or perhaps it is more ancient ruins of some evil, extinct tribe, whose grave-treasures lie waiting to be discovered. We shall see.
with love,
Preston."
From the journal of Pearly:
"Not much for writin, what with the weather comin in an crops to harvest and men need axin but sometimes it wurth puttin thoughts to paper a spose. that preston he put it bout as well as it can be put tho i dont much care for big words an talkin to sister folk without a chaperone but who am i to say whats what just a muleman with a shovel hoe axe an blanket. dont need none of when it really comes down to it, just these hooves an a pasture but where theres someone to get along with is all. these folks might be ugly an the cymblin hurts these ears more than crows hurt a corns but i aint complanin never have been my lot in this old world to get by with what i got and thats a set of teeth can bite a ladies finger soon as kiss it an a face chiltins run screamin from but i aint complainin. sleepin on the tops of stones and slippin round in the dark stabbin and the dead come back for second clobberin and goin on an on about some missin sister its sure no dinner with the queen but its helluva lot better than a knife in the eye and lemme tell you a knife in the eye aint nothing to laugh at. theres some gold we go for them deeds and these buggers better share it fare or crots gonna have to show them the shovel but i reckon thell split it likewise and give old crot what he deserves. might be if they do ill stick with em. bury the gold with the rest of my haul and maybe buy myself a night with that whore dina itll take a whole purse of gold to get her to turn her face to mine but i aint complainin. just hope none of these boys cross me cause then i get fierce mad and then there might be a killin. third leg needs a watering. this pen and paper business hurts the old grey stuff."
Loot & Xp:
800gp from the outlaws and zombies.
300gp reward.
Potion of Gaseous Form
Silver Key
3xp
Casualties:
None
The adventurers Unkill Goregargler, Preston Lewis, Pearly, Deezer, Magnus Brule and Unkill's retainer Wayne Scotting tracked the outlaws Kinat & Rentor to the Valley of the Frog God and killed them.
Date: 2008-06-06
In-game date: June 3-7, 1008.
A letter from Preston Lewis to his sister:
"Dearest Sister,
In this damp, dark corner of the world, forsaken by every decent god, there are only criminals. One would imagine there would be "work" for me in a place like this. Instead, I have become a lawman, of sorts. When the innkeeper posted the bounty on a pair of outlaws, a father and son suspected of murdering this lands' old lord, I led a band of mongrels out into the jungle, after them.
Magnus the Wizard is the most tolerable of my five comrades, though our first difficulty was to rescue him from giant, man-eating frogs when he got trapped in quicksand. These jungles are enough to make men mad, or worse. But I am getting ahead of myself. We were told these bandits might be hiding near some ancient ruins, so we made our way to that location. We found a primitive pyramid, topped by a hideous, frog-like idol.
Atop the pyramid, I killed a giant rat, pure white in colour. Skewered him on the end of my sword. But read on, my sister, for what I witnessed is most extraordinary! After expiring, the rat transformed into a naked old man, with long white hair. It was the father outlaw. Surely, we thought, the son could not be far away.
We made camp in the ruins of the antediluvian pyamid. You may disbelieve me, but what happened next is true. Before the sun's rays broke the horizon, dead men sprang from the earth and attacked us! Our porter, Wainscotting, was sleeping on watch, and it fell to myself and my companion Deezer to sense this danger and awaken the others. The mongrel eyork Deezer is a wastrel and a sisterfucker, but on this occasion, he showed some competency. At least he is not a drunk, like the other half-ork, Unkill Goregargler, who fled screaming into the jungle with Wainscotting as soon as he untangled himself from his hammock. I suppose Unkill is what passes for a "musician" amongst barbarians, but all he does is smash his cymbals together and yell. My fifth companion was a muleman named Crot, whom everyone calls Pearly. He walks upright and talks like a man, though for all that he is not much smarter than a mule. To his credit, his powerful hooves and handy shovel made him a great help in dispatching these undead fiends.
After daybreak, we found the rest of the bandits, hiding in their lair, and ambushed them. Unkill and Wainscotting had found their courage and returned to us, for I suppose they are less fearful of living men, but sadly this was a mixed blessing. It is hard to take a man by surprise when one of your comrades is enthusiastically bashing his cymbals together. In any event, we backed the outlaw son into a corner, and I slew him as well. I would have liked to question him about the old lord's suspicious death, but he would not surrender, preferring death to the chains of justice. So it is for some men.
We returned their heads to the lord's keep and recovered the bounty. But soon, I wil return to the jungle. Their ruined house was built atop some sort of subterranean construction, and perhaps they hid something down there. Or perhaps it is more ancient ruins of some evil, extinct tribe, whose grave-treasures lie waiting to be discovered. We shall see.
with love,
Preston."
From the journal of Pearly:
"Not much for writin, what with the weather comin in an crops to harvest and men need axin but sometimes it wurth puttin thoughts to paper a spose. that preston he put it bout as well as it can be put tho i dont much care for big words an talkin to sister folk without a chaperone but who am i to say whats what just a muleman with a shovel hoe axe an blanket. dont need none of when it really comes down to it, just these hooves an a pasture but where theres someone to get along with is all. these folks might be ugly an the cymblin hurts these ears more than crows hurt a corns but i aint complanin never have been my lot in this old world to get by with what i got and thats a set of teeth can bite a ladies finger soon as kiss it an a face chiltins run screamin from but i aint complainin. sleepin on the tops of stones and slippin round in the dark stabbin and the dead come back for second clobberin and goin on an on about some missin sister its sure no dinner with the queen but its helluva lot better than a knife in the eye and lemme tell you a knife in the eye aint nothing to laugh at. theres some gold we go for them deeds and these buggers better share it fare or crots gonna have to show them the shovel but i reckon thell split it likewise and give old crot what he deserves. might be if they do ill stick with em. bury the gold with the rest of my haul and maybe buy myself a night with that whore dina itll take a whole purse of gold to get her to turn her face to mine but i aint complainin. just hope none of these boys cross me cause then i get fierce mad and then there might be a killin. third leg needs a watering. this pen and paper business hurts the old grey stuff."
Loot & Xp:
800gp from the outlaws and zombies.
300gp reward.
Potion of Gaseous Form
Silver Key
3xp
Casualties:
None
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